Danny Cowley A Half Term School Report
Graeme Rayner, Feature Writer
Twitter: @B1g_Daddy_G
As I write its half-term. My kids are at the cinema with Mrs G watching Farmageddon, the roads are a little quieter and Halloween is upon us, but the” spooktacular” nightmare we town fans have endured for well over a year feels like it has come to an end.
It’s hard to believe that Danny and Nicky Cowley have been at the club for just over 50 days – so much has changed in that time. As it’s half term, and as he was a PE teacher, I thought I’d give our new manager a little school report in selected subjects.
History - A
Danny has shown a healthy attitude to the history of the club, especially the recent history of not winning a match in 7 months. He has a keen sense of his own history within the game, but also knows that history is just that – what has gone before. He’s keen to learn from history and put what he learns into play, without resting on past achievements. Keep this up.
Geography – B
He’s made a real effort to get to know the club, and unlike the last Londoner we had at the wheel, he doesn’t spend longer on the train to and from Kings Cross each week than he does in HD postcodes. No sign of a flat cap yet – solid but could do more.
Music - -ungraded
I’ll be honest; I have no idea what musical tastes Danny or his brother Nicky have. I can only hope that they insist on a blast of Chas ‘N’ Dave or Blur’s “Parklife” with the dulcet cockney tones of Phil Daniels, followed by a bit of “Knees Up Mother Brown”, but who knows. In fact, who cares? They could listen to Bryan Adams “Everything I do (I do it for you)” on a loop for all I care, as long as they occasionally allow Collin Quaner to pull out the robot to a spot of Kraftwerk now and again (preferably while Chris Schindler watches, shirtless) and the results keep coming. Pointless category, sorry I put it in.
PE – A+
Danny has worked wonders here. One of the common complaints about the reign of the manager who shall not be names (Jan-demort?) was that the players seemed unfit. Most were blowing out of their backsides very early on and it was hard to know why, given that most of the backroom staff (particularly the sports science/fitness team) were the same as under David Wagner, when fitness was never in question. The transformation is such that I reckon Danny could get Jon Parkin back and looking mobile (It is nearly bonfire night - a spot of Parkin wouldn’t go amiss).
If he were coaching in athletics and this sort of change happened, you’d be checking for Russian heritage and expecting Mo Farah to rock up with his training gear asking for a hand any day now.
Art – C
Currently he’s more Tracey Emin’s bed than The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci (not The Laugh Supper, Huddersfield’s premier comedy night hosted by yours truly at The Parish pub – thought I’d best clear that up). The football is not yet as exciting as we’d like although we have had bursts of it, notable against Hull in a 15/20 minute spell, and sporadically against Barnsley when we spurned a few great chances at two nil in the artistic equivalent of Van Gogh knocking the can of Dulux all over the canvas when putting the finishing touches to his Sunflowers.
Has managed to turn Bacuna from an unfinished project into an exciting exhibit people want to see more of, which is no mean feat.
French – A+
Danny has worked wonders here, turning Adama Diakhaby from a hapless Inspector Clouseau type of player into a dynamic wing-wizard with all of the Gallic flair of Gerard Depardieu wearing a jean Paul Gaultier kilt, quoting Descartes while eating Escargot and quaffing vintage champagne on the Champs-Élysées with Edith Piaf regretting rien in the background. I may have gone overboard with this metaphor but to this I simply say, ”plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose” and shrug. Oh, and Mbenza and Mounie don’t count as French, cos FIFA eligibility rules, innit.
English – A
His communication is refreshing. He talks about football intelligently and actually makes sense and actually delivers on what he says. Also says “triffic” which is great for fans of Only Fools and Horses and Harry Redknapp.
Working towards an A+ which will be achieved if he can get Jonathan Hogg back to his best and have him cut out the kind of whining that would make most non-Town fans assume he was a Scouser, not from Middlesbrough. Remember when people were arguing he might get an England call up?!?!
Maths – A++++++
Let’s look at the comparison between life before and after DC this season (league only).
You cannot argue with this maths! And this is largely with the same squad, as the managerial change happened after the transfer window closed. Danny has signed one player, Danny Simpson, on a free transfer. Having only played 6 games last season, Simpson has started and finished every game since he joined – all 6 of them - yep that’s right – he is arguably the catalyst of the unbeaten run.
Areas for development
We’d like to see the football style continue to develop and become more exciting, and some areas need addressing, like Tommy Elphick being easily distracted in class. Danny needs to extend his successes to other neglected areas, and I suggest he goes to work on Mbenza the way he has Diakhaby and Bacuna, and tries to replicate his success in the transfer market in the January Sales, while perhaps sticking a few unwanted items on eBay – Steve Mounie can go with the Flo, I think.
Overall summary
Danny is a star pupil. His attitude is “triffic” and so far, he can do no wrong. He’s mature enough to realise it may not all be plain sailing from here on in and looks well equipped to cope if and when we hit rocky waters. All in all, a superb start, and long may it continue. Triffic!
